So I have these really deep and meaningful conversations with one of my friends. We love to dive deep and get to the heart of the matter pretty quickly. She asked me if I was insecure about anything. People tend to live on a spectrum of desiring security over significance or vice versa and we were talking about where we are on that spectrum. For the record, I’m hard core wired to seek significance. I genuinely want to change the world for the better. But when she asked the question, I really thought and said, “ Yes, the one area I have always been most concerned about is being a good parent.”
In my mind, it is the single most important job I or any of us will ever have. It is also the easiest to get off track. Let me explain: Just think how hard it is for some or most of us to really care for our own bodies. Eating healthy and exercising regularly is a major challenge for many humans. Look how much is out there to help us through that journey to disciple one body – our own.
Now, think about our relationships with our kids! You most likely have more than one, but even if it is one child: children are changing so drastically at varying rates of speed throughout their lives, they have personalities that range from – just like you to “Who is this person?”, they go through phases of development just as we go through phases in our adult life and we are constantly trying to shift and pivot and maneuver through all of these moving parts in order to try to be the best parent we were designed to be.
On top of that, the consequences feel absolutely overwhelming. Anyone, with an ounce of perception, can see that parenting is not, “I fed and housed them for 18 years – DONE” No, No, No. Our relationships change and evolve and sometimes get even harder. If we struggled with the first 18 years, the next 18 years struggling with an adult child can be downright horrific.
So yes, my biggest insecurity is about being the best parent I was designed to be and leaving a legacy of parenting skills to my kids so they will enjoy parenting. Good habits will hopefully be their “default” mode because we all know how much we sound like our parents while parenting!
This has been on the forefront of my mind because, any day now, I will be a grandma for the first time. WOW! Again, I am reminded of how much our parenting changes. In the next few days, I will be there to support my daughter and son-in-law through the most precious experience in the world. I will need to watch my daughter in pain of delivery and try my best to walk her through that with joy. They live 12 hours away, so I will be learning the art of long distance support and trying to build a relationship with a whole new human from far away.
A few short months ago, I was at that point where I took a sigh of relief in my parenting journey, and now it’s time to take it to high gear again. Parenting is just like that. It’s super hard, super rewarding, and super frustrating to try and find that direction for each and every stage of life. We think we are coasting, and then suddenly there is yet another curve or cliff on the road to navigate.
In all these years of parenting, I have found that being intentional is our one big superpower. Parents that are very intentional about their choices and behaviors become rock star parents. They make observations, they actively process that input, and they adjust as necessary – bravely, without worrying what others think about it.
One of my biggest passions is helping other parents. I love to meet and council with parents, read good books on parenting, give tips and tricks when others see a roadblock, and pray and help carry the burden of parenting because I truly believe every parent is capable and was designed by God to be an amazing parent to their children and no one else can do that job – our most important job.
With that being said, please keep me in your prayers. I feel led to do something big, something incredibly helpful for parents everywhere. I’m currently in the planning process this summer and will be reaching out to others to get feedback and find out what parents most struggle with and how I can help. If you have thoughts and ideas, please reach out and let me know! God bless and have an amazing summer!